Time To Slow Down

I'm finally going to have some time to slow down. The last month has been a complete blur. This has to be one of the strangest times in my life. I couldn't possibly explain everything that has been going on, but let's just say that my life has been the closest to a soap opera that its possibly ever been. I'm not much of a soap opera girl. I'm a very introspective, analytical person. When life gets crazy and I don't have time to process things, it freaks me out a little bit, so I'm very excited to be going to a part-time work schedule.

This past week I've felt like I'm going through an identity crisis. It's hard to understand when God places you in places and with people that you know are not long-term and don't match up with your passions. I try to be very aware of how I spend my time and it is difficult for me to be in the place I've been in recently. I know that God uses these things to help mold us, but I also think there is a danger in allowing ourselves to stay in those places, just because it's easier than walking away. So, I'm taking a step back from some of these things and I am praying that as I do so, God will give me wisdom to use the newly acquired time and energy wisely and for His purposes.

Another thing that I continue to struggle with is knowing the difference between being a fool for Christ and just being a plain fool! Someone shared a story with me recently of someone they knew who quit their job because they felt like God told them to and ended up losing just about everything. I know that God does not promise us a bed of roses just because we take a step of faith, but honestly that story really scared me. I also struggle with the continual reminder that it's not about the destination, but the journey. I know that God cares more about who we are than what we do, but the reality is that how we spend our days does have a huge impact on who we are. Sure you can clean toilets to the glory of God, but if God has gifted you and put a passion on your heart for preaching (for instance), and you're stuck cleaning toilets, how do you deal with that?

I'm not sure any of this makes any sense, but now you see, this is what happens to me when I don't have time to process! I'll try to write a more coherent post in a few days, after I've had some time to process my life.