Introduction

My first post! This scares me a little bit... Actually I'm not sure if I'll open this up to others to see or not. I'm going to try to write with the assumption that I will though.

For people that know me they are probably extremely confused by the title of my blog. One of my favorite authors is Erwin McManus and his latest book called - The Barbarian Way - is where this title comes from. It's all about being willing to have a barbaric faith. I can't explain it. Read the book! While you're at it, read - Seizing Your Divine Moment. Actually, I would recommend reading that one first.

So there's something on my heart I have to get out. I feel like God placed a passion in my heart for ministry. I want to help churches more effectively reach and minister to people of my generation. I felt like God really revealed that to me on Easter weekend. Ever since then I've been praying about it and have shared it with a few people that are close to me. Something's happening though... when I first understood this, it was like an ember inside of me. Warm and inviting, not really uncomfortable but not sure what to do with it. Since then, it keeps getting hotter... Not so comfortable anymore. I feel like I have to do something with it but I don't know what.

God has given me opportunities where I am right now. The problem is because this passion is so strong, I have a huge desire to really use the gifts God has given me and to pour everything into the opportunities God has given me... but I have to make a living. And at the end of a week, when I've tried to balance a (temp) job with the ministries I'm pouring into, I'm exhausted and frustrated because I come up short of what I want to do.

This morning on my way to work I had the thought that maybe I would just end this temp job after next week so that I could try to somehow put more energies into figuring out how to make this work. Then I found out today that there's a chance the temp job may be coming to an end about then anyway. I keep thinking that God is about to open a door, but it hasn't happened yet.

I just don't want to be one of the million people that has this dream/vision/passion that is never more than a flicker that goes out because the doors didn't seem to fly open fo