Updates...
Last Saturday my roommate, Nicole, got married. I'm not sure it has fully sunk in yet. I still find myself expecting her to come home in the evenings or for her mom to call to see if she's home yet. Its been 3 years since I've lived by myself and it is definitely taking some getting used to again. It helps a lot to know that in just a little over 6 months, I'll be the one getting married!
The week before Nicole's wedding, I went shopping for my wedding dress. I found several that I really like. I think I will wait until my mom comes down in a few weeks to make my decision. It was a lot of fun shopping for a wedding dress!
After much prayer, I believe God has told me to step down from Awakening. (If you're reading this and you're not supposed to know that yet, please pretend you don't know!) This is not an easy thing for me to do, but I know it is the right thing.
That sort of leads into my recent ponderings... There are several reasons why I think God has released me from Awakening, but the one that is the hardest for me and that I continue to struggle with, is that the past couple of months it has been a real burden for me, instead of the joy that it used to be. Thinking and praying about all of this, the line from an old hymn came to my mind: "I will serve thee because I love thee."
I know that I still love God, so why does it seem so hard to serve Him sometimes? Maybe serving Him looks different for me today than it did a year ago. Part of me wants to figure out how I should be serving Him today, but then I realize that maybe the better question is "how should I be loving Him today?"
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